Weave Man's most prominent feature is his gigantic nose, which is by far his largest facial feature and replaces the entire lower half of his face, occupying the space a mouth normally would. Underneath this nose is a grimy black mustache that is nearly indistinguishable from his nose hair. He is bald with sunken-in and beady eyes, and sports two small and folded ears on the sides of his head. His skin is beige or arguably even a yellow or green-tinted color. He is fairly short and wears light winter clothing, including a black or dark blue jacket and dark grey jeans. He also wears a red tam o' shanter style cap with a green grid pattern and a small red pompom on the top.
Weave Man is reserved but highly irritable, and his most common form of aggression is to remove his head (which is seemingly hollow, as it becomes limp and deflated upon removal) and administer a solid whack to the back or side of the head of his adversary. He follows this with a loud declaration that he states so often it has become his namesake: "UPDATE YOUR WEAVE!" He will also perform this action upon unsuspecting victims as a form of prank, often inspiring anger, pain or in one instance temporary deafness in one of his victim's ears. He has also been spotted cornering IvanSonicGamer in the parking lot of Walmart with an axe and forcing him to consume an assortment of foods such as candy corn, grape soda, relish and "Widowmaker Finger" candies. When not on patrol around Barnaul or the Siberian Quarantine, he relaxes by patronizing his favorite free movie streaming service, Punjabi Movies Free 240p.