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The Porkpill is a mental state of enlightenment achieved by supporting A Fat Man's inclusion in Super Smash Brothers Ultimate as a DLC fighter. Though the "pill" aspect of the state is mostly figurative, a physical pill allowing the user to achieve a Porkpilled status does exist.

Phases

  • Alpha stage: Individual is completely ignorant of Porky or indifferent to his inclusion.
  • Beta stage: Individual is introduced to the Porkpill theorem, most often through the evidence of his exclusion as a spirit in Ultimate's comprehensive roster despite appearing as a boss in Brawl. Individual will ponder this information.
  • Gamma stage: Individual will reject the information in some instances, but mostly disregard it. Instead, they will begin to entertain fictional negative perceptions of Porky, such as the perception that he wasn't an important character, despite him appearing as a secondary antagonist and a primary antagonist in two different titles.
  • Delta stage: Individual will gain an intense disdain for Porky and often become so frustrated in their attempts to disprove his existence that they simply give up and try again repeatedly. This is lessened as the futility of the situation begins to sink in.
  • Epsilon stage: Individual will begin seeking for any amount of feasible proof that Porky would be fun to play as, rather than accept his likelihood to get in based on the spirit theory.
  • Zeta stage: A theoretical moveset is presented to the individual in this phase. They will immediately accept the porkpill, bringing them a feeling of immense euphoria.
  • Свинина stage: pOrKy iS cOoL aS aWeSoMe!!!! guys he will be in smash i want him in smash now

Physical Pill

While a physical pill is not commercially available at the moment, a version is being patented and will soon be shipped to IvanSonicGamer to test.

Porkpill

An image of what the physical porkpill is theorized to look like.

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