The Poop Dealer (real name unknown) is a mysterious figure that primarily dominates the giardia market through his sale of giardia-infected stool. He is thought to be in close collaboration with Doge.


The Poop Dealer's only known representation is a swirling blob of red gas with a hollow face that appears to be screaming in a mixture of anguish and ecstasy. (It is unknown if this representation is a mascot created to better market his product or if it is his actual appearance.) He often pairs his visage with the clever slogan "when yo poop dealer texts."


The Poop Dealer has been active in the giardia market for almost all of its recent years, but was previously unknown prior to this capitalistic endeavor. Although it is unconfirmed, he is thought to be the primary agent in the invention of the Giardia Stone (and subsequent giardia epidemic). However, he is thought not to be in possession of the stone since the crisis caused by its creation, although the stone still lies in the private ownership of another multimillionaire businessman.

The Poop Dealer has established a degree of monopoly over the poop market and is generally middle-of-the-road in terms of pricing his wares. One gram of giardia-infected stool currently costs around $1400 under his pricing system, effectively setting the standard for the rest of the industry.

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